Ideas.Think.Share

Few weeks back as usual I’ve attended my leadership development course, nothing special about the lecture, its typically academic and theory plus some leadership examples of global and local leaders. The professor successfully enhanced our perception of leadership and what is leadership all about. One of the most significant characteristic of a leader is that he/she has something extra to offer for the rest of the group, and  that ‘extra’ could be anything we couldn’t imagine such as money, attitude, behaviour, charisma and bla bla bla including special ability to create jokes.

Then while we were having tea break the professor offered to lend us some books that he had bought around 30 years ago while he studied in the US. He said to be a leader a person must have an extra knowledge in something, and he offered me to read and go through the old book titled Top Party Jokes.

The main reason he offered the book was that in certain situation, especially when you having dinner with senior bosses, they always come out with few jokes around the table just to cheer up the  function while at the same time try to study your level of understanding in  interpreting the words and sentences. and how quick you can response to the messages in the jokes. Too bad if you don’t have any good joke to share with the bosses or friends, you may be left smiling all the way during that conversation.

So by reading this old book at least you can get some ideas how to create new joke to cheer up  your colleagues. So here are some examples of old jokes that I’ve managed to rewrite and share:

Despatch Clerk : “Can I go out for lunch now?”
Manager: “Why go out for lunch, you’ve been licking stamps all the morning.”
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Doctor : “The cheque you gave me has come back.”
Patient: “That’s all right, so has my fever.”
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Wife: “Dear, do you know you haven’t kissed me even once during the last ten days.”
Husband: “Then whom else I had been kissing.”
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Boy: “Darling, indeed you’re a good dancer. Where did you take dancing lessons ?”
Girl: “I took wrestling lessons at P.I. Club.”
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Husband: “For the last time I’m asking you. are you coming ?”
Wife: “For the last two hours I’m telling you I’m coming within a minute.”
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Hotel Guest: “Please hurry up. See there are some rats in the room.”
Receptionist: “Madam, send them downstairs and I shall register them.”
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Lady : “Have you anything for gray hair ?”
Chemist’s Assistant : “Nothing madam, but the greatest respect.”
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One Professor : “Why do bride and bridegroom shake hands at the time of wedding ceremony according to English rites ?”
Second Professor: “Oh, it’s similar to the customary ceremony of shaking hands by two wrestlers before entering the wrestling arena.”
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Doctor: “Now, Mrs. Lamb, you need a perfect rest for two months at least.”
Mrs. Lamb: “What will I have to do ?”
Doctor : “Just don’t go with your husband !”
Mrs. Lamb: “Oh, that’s simple. My boy friends can easily take care of me for that long.”
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Secretary to boss : “Well, Sir, can you give my boy friend a job in our office ? ‘
Boss: “What can he do ?”
Secretary: “Nothing.’
Boss : “Then we can offer him the job of a manager.”
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A person got the following letter : “If you do not send Rs. 25,000 within three days’ time to a particular place, we will kidnap your ‘wife.”
And he sent the following reply : “I’m vefy sorry I can’t fulfil your demnand, but I am sure that you’ll keep up your promise !”